Round Meets Ground

THIS SITE HAS MOVED, YO!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-29T16:13:00.002-05:00

Round Meets Ground, stories of weightloss, as well as all things T.J. can now be found at Scurds.com
It's like my online home and stuff.

Scurds.com

Scurds.com

Scurds.com

Scurds.com

Scurds.com

Scurds.com

Scurds.com

Scurds.com

Self Sabotage

2008-03-24T10:44:00.003-05:00

I was on my way to pay the membership fees for the YMCA.. I had my application in hand and money in my pocket when I left work early last Thursday to head south to the Thorton YMCA.

It was 5:00 so traffic was a madhouse and I mistakenly took the B.A. from downtown. I sat still for what seemed like 20 minutes. Frustrated, I took the next exit, deciding that 5:00 was not a good time to do this. "I'll just go tomorrow morning" I tell myself.

On the way home I stop at the comic store where I drop 40 bones, then Kym asks me to pick up dinner. So I drop another 30 on burgers from Hank's for the family and I. And that, internets, is how quickly I spent $70 of the $100 cash reserved for the gym membership. Balancing the checkbook revealed that too was not an option.

Now I must wait until payday (next Monday) before signing up. My birthday is next Wednesday and barring any more self-sabotage I should be on my way to weight-loss by the time I hit the big 3-0.

Back on Track . . .Again . . .and Again.

2008-03-18T01:11:00.002-05:00

I know, I know, I know, Internets, it's been a long ass time since you've heard the tales of one Fubsy McChubberson and his adventures in weight-loss / training for runs (say WHAT?!), but I'm back. For good. For real.

It's almost exactly 2 weeks until I turn 30 and I would be lying if I said this was not my major motivation right now. I recently saw some pictures of myself from high school and realized I had a false self image of myself even then. I always thought I was a fat dude, but I wasn't. I wasn't a skinny little F-er by any means, but not chubby in the least.

I think my false self-imagine allowed me to become truly fat in my 20s. I think it's safe to say that I have spent my entire 20s overweight and getting worse each year. At 29.9 years of age and 350 pounds I am now morbidly obese. My 30s, I hope, will be a reversal of this.

I've begun looking at gyms and hope to join one in the next week. I am again motivated, once more feeling that this time I will be awesomely victorious. So please check back soon as I promise to post more and keep you abreast of my progress.

Who knows? Maybe if I make good time, I'll even run that run that began this whole blog.

Hit Addiction and Obscure Searches

2008-02-25T00:00:00.003-06:00

I'm addicted to Google Analytics. I check it everyday to see how many people are reading, how people are finding me etc. I am obsessed with my visitor count. It's not the reason why I do this, but it's a great motivator. If I know people are reading consistently, then I am more willing to stick to my guns and give them a reason to return.

Google Analytics is also rad because you can see how random people find you through search engines. First off, I'm known to search for some crazy things. Granted, it's usually just to send a Ralph Tresvant picture to my friend Jared or a Richard Simmons photograph to send to my other friend Chase (The dude has an unhealthy obsession with Sweatin to the Oldies). However, I would have never guessed how some people stumbled upon my blog.

The following are actual searches that produced my blog as results and then visited by the searcher:

"Boobs on the Ground"
"Brawls with Boobs"
"picture of big fat guy with man boob sweat"

Boy, that last guy sure was specific. I bet all these boob dudes are disappointed when they find this blog . . . or maybe not. Gotta love the internet.

The "I'm Broke" Diet

2008-02-20T16:00:00.002-06:00

So the wife and I are trying to move the family into a new home soon and we recently budgeted ourselves in order to save money etc. So I get one hundred bucks every 2 weeks to buy what I want (i.e. burritos and cd's).

Well yesterday I bought an external hard drive to continue the never ending project of digitizing all of my music and placing in my little pocket sized friend. So now I have no money for burritos . . . or nachos . . . or burgers . . .or cheese fries. So it's been a week of eating sandwiches at work. I'm eating a lot less and saving money too. It's what the natives called "a win win situation."

Tomorrow I'll weigh and see if it's really making a difference.

Our Fat Film

2008-02-18T15:46:00.006-06:00

Here is our entry for the 24-Hour Video Race. We have the video up on YouTube if you want to check out what people are saying or leave a comment yourself. There will be a screening of all the films at the Philbrook museum here in Tulsa next Thursday the 28th. That's when it will be judged and stuff. In the meantime, please check it out and let me know what you think.

Movie Makin' Disco Breakin'

2008-02-17T15:25:00.005-06:00

I made a movie this weekend with my good friends Erin, Mike and Doug. We made it in a single day via a 24-Hour video race sponsored by Living Arts, Philbrook Museum, and Individial Artists of Oklahoma. Of course, it's about being fat. We are very proud of it. It was a great time. I'll post it soon for all to see.

Backfat on Trackfat

2008-02-13T14:53:00.002-06:00

So, I'll see what I can do about this once a week post. I've certainly been neglecting my poor weight loss blog and I'm sure it has something to do with neglecting my poor Weight Loss. But I'm feeling good today. I've been bringing my lunch to work each day, eating considerable less, and I just went on a walk around downtown Tulsa so I'm feeling good.

I hope I can keep this momentum up. I'm sure I can. I've been feeling inspired recently. This weekend I am participating in a 24-hour Video Race so I've been getting the creative juices simmering. I think this has jump started other initiatives as well. Hopefully I can redirect it to all the right places.

The nice weather helps. I am really looking forward to Spring. In fact, I created a little springtime-anticipation playlist over at my new music blog, Great Big Sounds. I've been posting there much more frequently as my music listening is much healthier than my-- well-- health. So if you want to read something from me and I haven't appeared here in a while, you can always pop over there and leave me a message ridiculing me for eating too many burritos and exercising nil.

By the way, I lost one pound since last week.

Current Weight: 344

Wednesday Weigh-In: Stand Still

2008-02-06T08:33:00.000-06:00

So the last time I weighed was January 16th. It's been a couple of weeks, but I've been a bit more active (if you count playing Wii every 3rd night as active). I'm still eating quite a bit for lunch and I'm sure it has to do with the 2:30pm lunchtime I get everyday. It would help to eat breakfast. It would help to eat a small snack before noon. It would help to quit analyzing it all and just act on it . . . but that's hard. It's really hard. Did I mention it's hard. Anyway, let see the numbers:

Last Weigh: 345
Current Weight:345
Change: 0
Mood: want to cry myself over a bowl of chili.

So once again there is no change and I take full responsibility. Yea, yea, I know no pounds gained is a good thing, but no pounds lost isn't really what I'm going for either. Again, I know what I have to do (eat even better, more physical activity . . . and train, dammit, train), but I struggle with the initiation of it.

I turn 30 in about 6 weeks. The Tulsa run is now about 8 months away. The clock is seriously ticking and I'm at a freaking stand still.

Wii Journal

2008-01-28T23:44:00.000-06:00

Day 1: The Wii is installed and the family is loving it. Wii Sports will definitely give me a work out. I break a big sweat playing boxing for a couple hours. I question my parenting skills when I find myself saying "Quit crying, kid, you'll get your turn, but for now-- daddy's got to fight!"

Day 2: I can't move my arms. Who would've thought a video game could cause so much physical pain. I search for games that only require the push of the "A" button, but eventually master the art of playing baseball and tennis by sitting down and flicking my wrist forcefully. Eventually, this too makes me wince.

Day 3: After a full days rest I return to boxing and again break a huge sweat. This is the most physical exercise I've gotten in some time, but I force myself to quit after cussing out the wii LeVar Burton for kicking my ass.

Day 4: Begins with pain . . .

Wednesday What-In?

2008-01-24T22:59:00.000-06:00

That is my "Oh Shit" face. Yea, so today is Thursday and I forgot to weigh yesterday . . . and today. Of course, I'm a little scared to weigh, but it also comes down to a logistics, too. The elevators that take me up to the awesome antique scale that I've been weighing are blocked due to construction. So I've been entering and exiting the building other ways and no longer pass the big metal "yer fat" reminder. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So instead of a weigh-in, you get a pic of me looking shamefully at said scale:

I'm getting back on track though, but dude am I broke. Eating healthy is expensive, too. Seriously. No excuses here. Wild Oats or just good natural food at Target costs way more than eating fast food or buying shit out of a can or box at the Neighborhood Food Trough.

Did I mention we got my son Beckett a Wii for his birthday. This is the cause of said brokenness, but hopefully will be the source of much physical activity. Exercise from a video game? Who knew right? So stay posted on that. We are gonna give it to him on Saturday. I'm hoping it propels me into physical activity, as that is still the one thing I can't seem to kick start.

Advertising is for ideas.

2008-01-21T23:25:00.000-06:00

So I got two new ideas about losing weight, both inspired by actual magazine adds. First there was this one:
I have no idea what the hell "suspensoin" means, but the phrase "Freeze, wait, reanimate" is bad-frickin'-ass. So I'll just freeze myself until a cure for fat is found. I wonder if I'll take longer to thaw.

Then, if that doesn't work there's always this:

Let's just focus on the title first-- "Overcoming Physical Death." Dude, if I was invincible I could be as fat as I wanted to be and I would never die. How sweet is that? Then, there is the body of the add. Wake up, internets, apparently the enemy isn't obesity. The enemy is REINCARNATION. Screw round after round of death and rebirth, and screw losing weight. I gotta get invincible, yogi!!

Not really sure why I'm posting this:

(Apart from it being slightly hot), I found it awesome being on the same page as the "Freeze, wait, reanimate" shit.

"I'm totally gonna freeze myself, bro, but first I'm gonna need $29.95 and 46 minutes."

I'm also changing the name of this blog to "Paddled and Possessed."

Boobs, Brawls, and Bouncy Brothers

2008-01-19T01:30:00.000-06:00

My wife and I were talking about growing up and being kids. Kym said she was the first one in her group to get boobs. Oddly enough . . . . so was I.
My baddass friend, Robert, who is of similar size, (and who will soon join me in the 3 kid club), has thrown down the gauntlet and proposed a bit of friendly competition. I would love to bring out my competitive side. It's generally pathetic and recently non-existent, so this would do me some good. So, Robert, I'll be waiting on you to track your progression somewhere and I'll be sure to link to it and feature it so people can follow us both, choose sides, and cheer on their favorite Fat Dad.

Anyone else willing to join the race can as well, both figuratively and literally. Send me your weight-loss blogs and let's all meet up in Tulsa in October for the run.

Along these same lines-- my friend and trusty comic pimp, Shawn, at Mammoth Comics had an awesome idea a few months ago that I should start a group here in town. We could all go running and compete in sports together or against dudes way fatter than us (C'mon, we have to boost our confidence somehow.) I think this is a great idea as well.

I'm an only child and grew up doing lots of stuff alone, but I'm not sure if weight-loss is one of those things. I haven't had a good go at it so far. So look forward to more on these fronts and send me your challenges / blogs / ideas.

The Dude with the Man-Boob,
TJ

Weigh-In Wednesday: How 0 is an Awesome Number

2008-01-16T23:55:00.000-06:00

So one week has gone by and I lost a big Judge Whopnerin' 0 Pounds. Yep, internets, that's a big fat nothing, nil, nadda, zip, zilch, doodley squat. Although 0 is the fattest of all the numbers . . . That's pretty sweet.

Speaking of-- lets talk fat-friendliness of the digits:

1 is too damn skinny

2 is a skinny dude that fell to his knees after being punched in the stomach.

3 does look like man boobs . . . that is also pretty cool.

4 & 7 have no curvy lines whatsoever so bullocks to them

5 does have a beer gut, but we cannot be obese from beer gut alone

6 & 9 bring up sexual connotations, of course, and since chubby dudes often suffer in this area they must be omitted.

8 . . . okay 8 might be cooler than 0 because 8 looks like a fat dude with an equally fat head and I can certainly relate to that.

This could be the lamest or most awesomeness post ever. You decide, internets. . . .

Covering the Fat Issue

2008-01-10T23:24:00.000-06:00

*

So one of my favorite magazines is Utne Reader. (NOTE: the cover above is not from the current issue. I just thought ol' G-Wash drinking a beer was rad). If you're not familiar, first off, you should check it out. It collects lots of really great articles from several really great independently published magazines and puts them in one nearly add free issue every month. They also update their website daily with fresh content as well. It's a great one-shot stop for those who don't have time or money to read 15-20 magazines a month.

Anyhow, this month they featured several articles about American society's obsession with obesity and how it has distorted facts, instigated discrimination, and set up a size-class system in our country that only forces the overweight to "prisons of self loathing."

(Picture from the article)

I could recap the articles, but it is much more rewarding if you read them yourself. C'mon you know you have time at work or late at night when you are up for hours importing even more CDs into your itunes . . . .or is that just me.

So please check them out. Just click on the article titles below. I'm anxious to hear your opinions on what they have to say.

Shame on Us

Love Your Fat Self

The Food Police

I can sympathize with a lot these articles have to say. I've always had my weird share of "fat pride" and while these articles don't foster that approach, they do make me feel connected to my husky brothers and sisters through our connection to this group.

We're this group of people struggling with weight for hundreds of different reasons, each of us connected, but dealing with separate issues as well. We are united in a struggle, one that can only be understood by those who are or have been in our shoes. It is never as simple as "eat better" or "just exercise." And while we get support and encouragement from our non-fat friends we can't help but wonder if they look down on us. "Come on, it's not that hard. Just do it."

It's the battle of a lifetime, one that we fatties are going at mostly alone because society is too far off course.

Wow! Sorry I got all militant on you, internets. Now seriously check out this article about Huey Lewis and some of his biggest fans. It has been my favorite discovery from an Utne Reader. It is brilliant. "Brilliant," I say.

Weigh-In Wednesday: 1 Pound at a time

2008-01-09T17:22:00.000-06:00

Current Week: 345lbs

Last Week: 346lbs
Total Loss: 1 Pound, suckers.

It's been several days since I posted, but don't let that and my lonely pound of weight-loss fool you-- I have been living a more active life.

Sunday I worked in my backyard cleaning up the last of the massive tree debris left by the big ice storm last month.

At work I even got out of the control room and played camera man on a shoot at the Phillips Petroleum Museum in Bartlesville.

Kym has cooked a nice fresh and healthy dinner every night. It's been so delicious, she has turned into quite the badass chef. I follow up dinner, not by laying on the couch and rubbing my tummy, but by cleaning up dishes, sweeping the floors, doing dishes, and any other housework I can find.

Areas I need to work on include eating big lunches at work on my lunch break and staying up too late. I've been staying up until 2 or 3am every night importing CDs into my iTunes, reading magazines and comics, and generally just "dicking around" (not the dirty kind, mind you, the more lame kind.)

Anyhow, I get up at 6:30 in the a.m. so this nocturnal way of mine is catching up with me and my health for sure. I'm cranky at work, my post-dinner chores are slowing down, and the energy just isn't there.

So tonight I've vowed to go to bed early. I'm also broke as a fat man's furniture so eating out tomorrow is out of the picture. Therefore, I see improvement in sight.

I read a series of really awesome articles in the latest Utne Reader about food culture and the stigma of fat people in our society. I plan on blogging about it in the near future, but tonight I must wrap this up and hit the hay.

Be well, internets.

Everybody's Got a Hungry Heart . . .

2008-01-03T23:36:00.000-06:00

I assume that my constant state of hunger means I am eating less, but I still wonder if that's a good thing. Should I eat small healthy snacks when I am hungry or just tough it out until the next meal? I once had a doctor tell me "just don't eat," but he was kind of a loon.

I'm also moving around more. I try not to sit still at home unless I am reading to the kids or talking with Kym. Of course, I say this as I've been sitting at the computer for an hour importing CDs into iTunes. But really, especially after meals, I've been trying to move around more and it's helping. I know I need actual exercise, but with my schedule right now it's the best I can do.

There has been several temptations. I was introduced to a really good small Mexican restaurant that has quickly become a new favorite, but this is a good thing. Their portions are much smaller than others and you can order items a la carte so I can still eat small and eat delicious.

We also talked about The Brook on the show today and all I could think of was this . . . .

and this . . .

. . . .oh sweet, sweet cheese, I'm hungry.

Weigh-In Wednesday: 2008 Edition

2008-01-02T22:46:00.000-06:00

I know it's been a while, but today is Wednesday which means that today is the day I face the cold hard truth of what 2 months off the wagon will do. That's right., internets, it's Weigh-In Wednesday.

So as I made my way out of the 320 S. Boston Building at quitin' time, I stopped at the big gold monster to face my failure and take it like a man-- 346lbs of man it seems.

346lbs I say!!

Mark my words, internets, this will be the last time you see a number this high. From here on out I own that old brass bastard of a scale.

New Year's Highlights

2008-01-02T00:53:00.000-06:00

First off, I gotta share a pic of Kym's finger. It really doesn't do it justice, though. It looks much nastier in person and I'm sure it was more painful than it looks as well.

Besides one cup of coffee this morning and 2 glasses of wine with dinner, I only drank water today-- no pop whatsoever. This is big for me.

I love documentaries, but I have a deep hatred for reality television. This hate did not stop me from watching "The Biggest Loser" on NBC today. It has a "couples" theme. Kym and I watched it together and wished that we were the token couple from Oklahoma because the real couple from Oklahoma are lame and will probably be booted soon. Obviously, I got into the show. It's very relative to my situation right now, and besides I love watching fat people cry and get yelled at.

iPod importing 2007 has become iPod importing 2008 as I still only have about 1/5 of my music collection currently loaded in my pocket sized friend. I must buy new headphones as well. Bullocks to the ones that came with it. Many more accessories are needed as well for full home and car enjoyment.

Had to work briefly today. The people need there internet travel news. I stayed pretty damn active. Cleaned a lot. Helped Kym prepare and cook one sweet as dinner including baked chicken marinated in oranges and garlic. I also had parsnips for the first time which were damn good too. And the best part is that no digits were injured in the making of our meal.

A Strange Close

2007-12-31T23:29:00.000-06:00

It was a strange close to the year 2007. Kym was cutting up some carrots for a dinner dish with a brand new, shiny, sharp knife when she slipped up and cut a huge chunk of her finger damn-near plum off. We wrapped it in a dry cloth, called her sister to come watch the kids, and headed off to the emergency room.

This bastard was bleeding like mad, but Kym is one tough chick and managed to stay strong through 5 or 6 shots, several of which injected directly into her finger and open wound. (Yea, thats when I looked away.) They wrapped it up by sewing the dangler back to the digit. She goes back in 10 days to get the stitches removed and see if the dangler wants to grow back or if they are going to lob that shit off. Fun times. Thanks a lot, 2007.

Kym was pissed. Stupid carrots.

So that was my exciting New Years Eve. My 6 year old tried staying up until midnight. She gave up willingly at 11:15 after seeing Hannah Montana on Dick Clark/Ryan Secrest show. Everyone else pooped out long ago.

I sit alone listening to Frank Black, Gang of Four, and Madvillain as I continue to fill up the iPod. I'm not complaining, though. Current day aside, it's been a good year and I look forward to the next with motivation, a renewed spirit . . . and a fear of knives.

The Oats (not as in Hall & . . .)

2007-12-30T22:49:00.000-06:00

My lovely wife, Kymberly, and I sat down today and made plans for the whole family to eat better. I'm really excited that she is not only supporting me in this, but committing our whole family to a healthier lifestyle as well.

This time last year we made a similar commitment to eating organically and locally whenever possible. We are lucky to have a Wild Oats grocery store in town which is an amazing grocery store. Unfortunately, it's also amazingly expensive and with five people to feed we just couldn't hack the bill.

Now due to the great fortunes that 2007 has brought us we are better equipped and prepared to give the organic/local diet another shake. Our Wild Oats is now converting over to a Whole Foods, but it seems to be the same as ever. I'm excited to stop dining out as much and to eat a largely organic diet. I know some people don't buy into all the hype, but I noticed a great difference in how my body felt this time last year and I'm thrilled to be pushing my shopping cart amongst patchouli smelling hippies and the English Lit moms.

They say you wanna resolution . . .

2007-12-30T01:34:00.000-06:00

With only a few more days left in 2007, I've begun work on compiling ideas for my New Year Resolution. I know it's trite and an all around pretty dumb idea to have a resolution, but for me it's what defines New Years as a holiday. Santa brings gifts, the Easter bunny brings baskets full of crap and Baby New Year brings new beginnings, a clean slate, and a good time to "try it again."

They say it's best to focus on one resolution, and if They say it then it must be true. So instead of having 14, which is what i just jotted down on paper, I'm gonna say I have one big one with many parts. My resolution is to live a more active life. This isn't confined to just physical activity either as sub categories of my resolution include reading one magazine a day and writing one old-fashioned letter per week. Physical activity, mind you, is still a big part of it.

And yes, running the Tulsa Run is still the primary goal of the new year. I just know that to get to that point I have to change more than just what I eat. I have to change my entire lifestyle, and right now that means going from sedentary to active.

It's Smaller Than a Candy Bar . . .

2007-12-28T23:32:00.000-06:00

So I've heard from television, that trusty source of infotainment, that addicts often replace one addiction for another. And while I'm sure no addiction is without its faults, at least my latest won't kill me. Internets, I'm addicted to the iPod.

I finally joined the masses of tech savvy individuals, and all the twenty-somethings at my work, when my lovely family got me an iPod for xmas. Not just any iPod, mind you, but the big daddy 160GB one that Apple just released a few months ago.

Those of you that know me know that I have an embarrassingly large CD collection. So my recent nights have been filled by slowly importing disc after disc trying to load my little pocket-sized friend with rad tunes. Oddly enough, the more tunes I put into it, the iPod stays the same size. If only it worked that way with my burritos and my belly.

Anyhow, I'm hoping this iPod is my new weight-loss friend. I'll channel my burger-eating energy into importing CDs, I'll spend my lunch break on emusic and itunes rather than El Guapos and The Brook, and I'll take it exercising of course. I honestly think I could run or walk for hours listening to this thing loaded with my whole music collection-- over 2,000 CDs-- all strapped to my flabby arm.

on the absence of one fat guy with a hollow promise . . .

2007-12-27T23:36:00.000-06:00

We'll . . .I'm a
burrito craving,
belt breaking,
whole pizza eating,
heavy wine drinking,
Christmas Eve puker,
Christmas Party Pooper,
excuse making,
cake baking,
belly shaking,
earth quaking,
tubby complainer,
massive weight gainer,
lard bucket of lies,
thunder thighs,
turkey leg walker,
a real shit talker,
2-5-2- logger,
world's worst blogger,
Internets, I've said it and I'll say it again,
please stay with me, my friend.
Don't give up hope.
True-- I'm on the food crack dope,
but I'm not a food crack whore.
I won't knock on your door,
asking for a score,
asking for more
of your xmas leftovers,
your Stovetop Stovers,
but I might
yes I might
ask you to read my post again
as I'm on the mend.
So your clicks you must send,
O' my friend,
O' my friend,
O' my internets friend.

Wednesday Weigh-In: Thursday Edition

2007-11-29T23:21:00.000-06:00

Alright, internets, I admit; I weighed yesterday, but I was just too ashamed to post anything. However, after receiving several guilt trips from friends and readers, I thought it best to post-- no matter what. I've made a habit of only posting on the days I've done good, but if this is to be a true chronicle of my experiences I should include the struggles and missteps.

So here goes: (By the way, I didn't even weigh last week. . .)

2 Weeks Ago: 338
This Week: 345
2 Week Weight Gain: +7 Pounds
Total Weight "loss": +2 Pounds

Now, listen-- I might not weigh 345 precisely as I was actually holding an Arby's sack full of a crispy chicken sandwich and medium curly fries when I hopped up on the scale. I believe I even had a hold of a large Dr. Pepper as well. (My buddy Mike P. was witness if you don't believe my shameful tale.)

Either way, dear readers, I blew it and I blew it hard. One eating-holiday and a centennial celebration later and this fat dude is off his game. Don't lose faith in me yet, however. I've taken several beatings from not only myself, but from good friends as well and I think my self-flagellating is almost complete.

Although it looks like the holidays are gonna be harder than I thought.

"Is Anthrax Bad?"

2007-11-26T23:34:00.000-06:00

So is coffee bad? I hear that water is best, that caffeine will only mess with your metabolism in wrong ways and dehydrate you on top of all else. When I drink coffee, though, I'm pretty sure it kicks up my metabolism. Without getting too graphic, I'll just say that the proof is in the fact that coffee sends me to the "25216" quicker than anything. I also have more energy throughout the morning which I would assume means I am burning more calories as well. Is this backwards thinking or am I on to something?

Please enlighten. If my theory is true, a damn fine cup of coffee could become the new kick-start to my day.

Back on Track, or Back-Fat on Track?

2007-11-25T22:52:00.000-06:00

Okay, so my discipline is horrible, both with the blog and with the diet. Trips out of town, long work hours, four day weekends, holidays, and any other excuse I can think of has made setting a diet and exercise routine nearly impossible. I recognize, however, that there are no excuses and if I'm really going to do this thing I've got to commit completely, wholeheartedly, and sans excuses.

I have to say, this is about the time I usually give up on "diets." I'm sure it's biological, but after a month of eating better my body turns against me. It craves all the things I've been consuming over the last 10+ years and sends messages to my brain that "it's okay this once," "might as well enjoy the weekend," "aw, hell, just make it next month."

I know that I have to re-educate my body, mind, emotions, spirit-- every fiber that is me-- to convert these cravings into the Will Power that I'm gonna need to change my lifestyle. If you've been though it, hopefully you understand what I'm saying. It's not as easy as simply putting down the cheeseburger and running around the block. There is no "just do it." It's a fight between who I've become and who I want to be, and at this point in time the smelly, chubby, burrito-eating bastard is kicking some serious ass.

Starting Again

2007-11-19T17:23:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the absence of posts. It was an extremely hectic weekend, but Oklahoma has indeed turned 100. We are officially an old bastard and I, along with many others, can get back to the daily routine.

I have to admit that I pretty much fell off the chuckwagon this last weekend, but today I am back on track. I ate breakfast, had soup and salad for lunch, and plan to work out later today. I'm glad I didn't cheat for too long. It was my lost weekend in The Gut and my old stomping grounds of the Oh-Kay-See, but all is good now. I'm here . . . focused . . . and ready to get small.

More to come tomorrow.

And please send me ideas on working out. I do not have a gym membership yet, although I am working on it. Please send me your ideas for getting exercise at home, preferably late at night when the family is asleep, when I would otherwise sit on my computer downloading songs and posting raunchy messages on the internets.

Thursday Night in The Gut

2007-11-15T22:59:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm here in Guthrie with OTN for the big Statehood Day celebration. My friend and OTN Audio Thug, Brandon, is the crown prince of Guthrie. Sometime he refers to his hometown as "The Gut." For that reason alone I wanna hang out here. A guy like me belongs in a town called The Gut.

"Hey, Fat Dude, where do live-- The Gut?"
"Actually, sir, I do live in The Gut. Now can I please have my burger back?"

Historic Downtown Guthrie is amazing and if you've never been here you should really check it out. If you are into history, especially turn of the century stuff, you'd really dig it. There is a certain vibe about the place that seperates it from other towns in Oklahoma. Unfortunatly, I've spent way too much time in a Satellite truck staring at monitors to describe it any better than this. Take at look at our video of The Gut for it does a much better job:

Wednesday Weigh-In Part 3

2007-11-14T23:19:00.000-06:00

OK this is kinda sad, but here goes:

Original Weight: 343lbs
Last Week: 339lbs
This Week: 338lbs
One Week Loss: 1 pound
Total Loss: 5 Pounds

I guess that's not so bad. Like I said before, I need to start exercising and doing some actually running/walking before I see big results, but 5 pounds isn't too shabby either. Right?

PROCRASTINATION!!... cha cha cha...

2007-11-13T22:59:00.000-06:00

Not much to say tonight really. Having motivation and procrastination problems. I go to Guthrie then Oklahoma City starting in two days for work. I keep telling myself I will do better once I get back to Tulsa on Saturday, but I partly feel like I am just procrastinating. Why didn't I exercise yesterday or today? I could have fit it in. I feel like I'm slowly edging back into bad habits and I've got to nip it in the bud quickly. Tomorrow I weigh and I fear bad things . . .

Musical Recommendation and Inspiration

2007-11-12T23:14:00.000-06:00

Okay, so this isn't necessarily weight-loss related, but I just watched the Austin City Limits featuring Arcade Fire and it's all I can think about. Not only is it one of the best Austin City Limits I've seen, but it is simply one of the best concert videos I've seen in a long time. If you live in Oklahoma, it comes on OETA again on Thursday night, otherwise check your local listings. You gotta watch it.

The music is great, of course, but the physical energy of every member during the performance is amazingly fun to watch. I'm sure they are great live and in person, but watching it on the tube was an experience in itself.

As someone who directs an occasional live performance, I greatly admire the production of this show too. The production of the program equally matched the bands energy and quality and it was just great fun all around.

I must say, I do find this weight-loss related, too. I get inspired the most from music. A great song can capture the many layered complexities of life, bundle it up in a 3 minute tune, and make you feel that anything is possible.

I feel refreshed.

A Campaign Promise

2007-11-11T23:25:00.001-06:00

If I don't meet my goal of running in the Tulsa Run, I will slide down this slide wearing nothing but cut-offs and an Eazy-E T-shirt.

Tomatos . . .

2007-11-10T23:16:00.000-06:00

. . . not just an integral part of a balanced diet, but an essential element in the portrayal of Mr. Tomato Eyes.

Road Trip

2007-11-09T23:46:00.000-06:00

Kids love Pops!

Not too much to report diet wise. We took a road trip today to the Omniplex in OKC and Pops in Arcadia. From there we drove all the way home on Route 66. Screw the turnpike, it was a great time. Route 66 in the fall during sunset is simply gorgeous.

The kids had a great time at the O-plex and Pops was a pleasant surprise as well. And in case you're wondering, yes I had the chicken fried steak. C'mon it's Route 66! Michael Wallis would kick my ass if I only ordered salad.

The Day in Pictures

2007-11-08T22:29:00.000-06:00

Eating right is hard.

I'm surrounded by devilish goodness.

It's The Brook . . . there's gonna be cheese.

What the hell are you looking at, antique scale that rolls over at 300lbs.

Day 10: The Wednesday Weigh-In

2007-11-07T22:56:00.000-06:00

It's been a week since I weighed myself. I haven't started exercising yet so anything I've lost is strictly from changing my diet. So let's see where I stand:

Last Week: 343
This Week: 339
Total Loss: 4 Pounds!

So there it is-- 4 Big Ones. Not a lot, but slow and steady wins the race.

I have brought down my calorie intake significantly. I shouldn't gain any more, but to lose what I've already got I'm going to have to exercise.

I probably sound like I'm making excuses, but next week I'm in Guthrie and OKC for Statehood Day and Centennial Celebration so it's a bad time to start a new routine. I'm gonna make it my goal though to start something regular the week after. November 19th I'll take it to another level, kick it up a notch, throw it into high gear, and any other cliches I can think of.

Oh shit. . .that's Thanksgiving week . . .well a dude's gotta start sometime.

2007-11-06T22:44:00.000-06:00

According to the healthatoz.com my body mass index (BMI) is 49.2. Is that a percentage? Does that mean I'm half-fat? I guess it's true.

That's probably pretty accurate considering this site says my ideal weight should be about 150 pounds. So basically I gotta lose more than half of me-- about 170 lbs to be "ideal."

Here is a list of things that also weigh 170 pounds:

21 gallons of goat's milk
Nicole Richie 9 months pregnant
Six 3-Year-Olds
2.5 toilets
2,720 ounces of tabbouleh
3 baby buffalo or 1/10th of an adult male

A Big Thanks. . .

2007-11-05T22:21:00.000-06:00

Thank you for all of the well wishes about Kym's grandma. Your thoughts and comments been deeply appreciated.

On a much lighter note, thank you also for the feedback I've received via email, MySpace, and the comments section on this blog about my mission here. Your comments are very encouraging. My will power is weak, but I am a media whore and if I know people are watching then I will likely stay focused and pull this thing through. I'm shallow like that.

I have lost weight already, but I'm gonna wait until Wednesday to share how much (and make sure I can keep it off.) The Wednesday Weigh-In will probably be a regular feature here. I used to weigh myself everyday, but it fluctuates so much I think it is more useful to weigh once a week.

I promise to get more creative with these posts over time. I want it to be entertaining for everyone so you'll have a reason to come back other than keeping track of how many burritos I consume. I also plan on starting actual real-life exercise soon so that'll bring good posts and pictures I'm sure.

Sorry that my quick thanks turned into a long ramble, but I tend to overdo things-- like eating and sitting still for long periods of time.

The Sunday Sucks

2007-11-04T19:47:00.000-06:00

I planned on getting some exercise via manual labor today. My garage is a complete pit and in dire need of a junk exorcism. However, after taking full advantage of daylight savings time, I woke up late. Then I got sucked into watching Narnia with the kids. So, of course, I went ahead and waited until after lunch before tackling the garage. Unfortunately, I only got a fraction of it done and it remains a pit.

None of this matters, however, because it's all meaningless compared to the devastating news we received this morning. Kym's grandmother, Grandma Pacha, had a massive stroke overnight. She is still alive, but at 92 years old that life is forever altered. Please keep Grandma Pacha, Grandpa Burt, and all their many kids and grand-kids in your thoughts during the next days, weeks, months, and quite possibly years ahead.

Getting Fed on the Mother Road

2007-11-03T17:03:00.000-05:00

I love all the great attractions along Oklahoma's stretch of Route 66. You can find so many great things to do and lots of great locally owned places to eat. However, for a dude trying to lose weight, it's a great challenge trying to find something light to eat at these great diners.

Okay, maybe it's not as hard to find something as it is to not want something else. I'm an Okie, I love a good Chicken Fried Steak (hereafter referred to as CFS). Sometimes I even like my CFS on a bun served with mayonnaise, lettuce, and pickles-- a CFS Sandwich. So when the family and I went to Ollie's today it took everything I had not to order said CFS Sammy. Yes, my friends, I refrained and got Salad Bar.

TJ's Waistline- 1
Chicken Fried Steak- 0

A Pie Chart (Mmmmm. . .Pie)

2007-11-02T21:10:00.001-05:00

2007-11-01T23:23:00.000-05:00

Found a really good resource today online about race training for the novice. It is at HalHigdon.com. There is a 15k Training Guide that includes a daily routine you start 10 weeks before the race. Since I am not athletic at all I think I am going to first train for a 5k race. That is an 8 week program so luckily I'm giving myself enough time. I haven't set a goal yet for the 5k race, but I'm hoping to do one in the next 6 months, spending the last half of the year training for the 15k.

I feel good after reading the training guides. It actually seems feasible. Of course, it all looks easy on paper, but when I waddle my ass outside and begin to run it's going to be a different story. I don't think I've ever ran 1 mile, let alone 3 (5k).

I mean, does this look like a dude ready to run 9.3 miles? 3 miles? 1 mile?

And if you were about to eat, I sincerely apologize.

Day 3: Trick or Treat. Can't See My Feet

2007-10-31T23:45:00.000-05:00

Been out trick or treating with the kids and I'm beat so this one's gonna be short.

I thought I would periodically have basic posts on what I ate that day, my current weight, and exercise or running length. Let this be the first of those.

Breakfast: A frozen spicy chicken sandwich.

Lunch: 3/4 of a small Hideaway pizza and a salad.

Dinner: Leftover Cheeseburger and some chips.

Snacks: Oh c'mon, it's Halloween. I obviously ate a handful or two of candy. (pssst. . . click on this link for something awesome.)

Exercise: Walked about 4 blocks (while trick or treating).

Current Weight: Still 343

Obviously I am off to a poor start. I thought I'd do better than this. It helps seeing it typed out like that though. The day's meals look even worse when stacked together like that. This has really put things in focus.

Tomorrow I must do better.

A Palindrome of Pounds (The First Weigh-In)

2007-10-30T17:08:00.000-05:00

343! Three hundred and forty-three frickin' pounds. A palindrome of pounds. That's my current weight according to the awesome vintage, yet accurate, scale in the lobby of the 320 S. Boston Building in beautiful downtown Tulsa.

It probably doesn't help that I gave into the one-two punch and what will be my biggest weakness during this whole process.

"Where do you want to go for Lunch?"
Mexican Food

Number 1 is the question I hear almost daily at the end of our newscast. I can't resist an invitation from co-workers to socialize and escape the workplace for a good hour (usually more).

Number two is my usual answer to question 1 and the primary reason why I don't support a crackdown on illegal immigration. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I would eat my weight in burritos.

I wonder how many burritos it takes to equal 343 pounds anyway? If only I'd been keeping count. . .

The Plan

2007-10-29T14:17:00.000-05:00

Okay. So I got an idea on Saturday as I lay in the grass along Brookside sweaty and out of breath. I had just walked about a mile and a half up and down Peoria as the kids took part in the annual Boo-Ha-Ha celebration and I saw an older gentleman proudly wearing a Tulsa Run t-shirt picked up at the race he undoubtedly participated in earlier that morning. I knew instantly what had to be done. My ass needed to be in that race.

I have 3 small children and all the physical, mental, and emotional challenges/rewards that come with that. In less than 6 months I'll be turning 30 and in all honesty, without a major change I'll be dead long before another 30 passes by. I'm well over 300 pounds and the hight of my physical activity is a toss-up between putting my shoes on and walking from the car to my workplace.

As you can see, running in a 15k race a year from now seems laughable, probably impossible. I don't even know if it is a realistic goal, but I've got to give it a shot. So here I am, tracking my progress for all the world or at least for 12 of my closest friends and wackos who like to see pics of a chubby white dude with his shirt off. I've also asked my buddy Erin to help me document it on video so stay tuned for updates on that front as well

I don't have a diet plan, I don't have an exercise plan, and I sure as hell don't have a running plan, but I do have a plan for survival. At this point it's all I need.