A Strange Close

It was a strange close to the year 2007. Kym was cutting up some carrots for a dinner dish with a brand new, shiny, sharp knife when she slipped up and cut a huge chunk of her finger damn-near plum off. We wrapped it in a dry cloth, called her sister to come watch the kids, and headed off to the emergency room.

This bastard was bleeding like mad, but Kym is one tough chick and managed to stay strong through 5 or 6 shots, several of which injected directly into her finger and open wound. (Yea, thats when I looked away.) They wrapped it up by sewing the dangler back to the digit. She goes back in 10 days to get the stitches removed and see if the dangler wants to grow back or if they are going to lob that shit off. Fun times. Thanks a lot, 2007.

Kym was pissed. Stupid carrots.

So that was my exciting New Years Eve. My 6 year old tried staying up until midnight. She gave up willingly at 11:15 after seeing Hannah Montana on Dick Clark/Ryan Secrest show. Everyone else pooped out long ago.

I sit alone listening to Frank Black, Gang of Four, and Madvillain as I continue to fill up the iPod. I'm not complaining, though. Current day aside, it's been a good year and I look forward to the next with motivation, a renewed spirit . . . and a fear of knives.

The Oats (not as in Hall & . . .)

My lovely wife, Kymberly, and I sat down today and made plans for the whole family to eat better. I'm really excited that she is not only supporting me in this, but committing our whole family to a healthier lifestyle as well.

This time last year we made a similar commitment to eating organically and locally whenever possible. We are lucky to have a Wild Oats grocery store in town which is an amazing grocery store. Unfortunately, it's also amazingly expensive and with five people to feed we just couldn't hack the bill.

Now due to the great fortunes that 2007 has brought us we are better equipped and prepared to give the organic/local diet another shake. Our Wild Oats is now converting over to a Whole Foods, but it seems to be the same as ever. I'm excited to stop dining out as much and to eat a largely organic diet. I know some people don't buy into all the hype, but I noticed a great difference in how my body felt this time last year and I'm thrilled to be pushing my shopping cart amongst patchouli smelling hippies and the English Lit moms.

They say you wanna resolution . . .

With only a few more days left in 2007, I've begun work on compiling ideas for my New Year Resolution. I know it's trite and an all around pretty dumb idea to have a resolution, but for me it's what defines New Years as a holiday. Santa brings gifts, the Easter bunny brings baskets full of crap and Baby New Year brings new beginnings, a clean slate, and a good time to "try it again."

They say it's best to focus on one resolution, and if They say it then it must be true. So instead of having 14, which is what i just jotted down on paper, I'm gonna say I have one big one with many parts. My resolution is to live a more active life. This isn't confined to just physical activity either as sub categories of my resolution include reading one magazine a day and writing one old-fashioned letter per week. Physical activity, mind you, is still a big part of it.

And yes, running the Tulsa Run is still the primary goal of the new year. I just know that to get to that point I have to change more than just what I eat. I have to change my entire lifestyle, and right now that means going from sedentary to active.

It's Smaller Than a Candy Bar . . .

So I've heard from television, that trusty source of infotainment, that addicts often replace one addiction for another. And while I'm sure no addiction is without its faults, at least my latest won't kill me. Internets, I'm addicted to the iPod.

I finally joined the masses of tech savvy individuals, and all the twenty-somethings at my work, when my lovely family got me an iPod for xmas. Not just any iPod, mind you, but the big daddy 160GB one that Apple just released a few months ago.

Those of you that know me know that I have an embarrassingly large CD collection. So my recent nights have been filled by slowly importing disc after disc trying to load my little pocket-sized friend with rad tunes. Oddly enough, the more tunes I put into it, the iPod stays the same size. If only it worked that way with my burritos and my belly.

Anyhow, I'm hoping this iPod is my new weight-loss friend. I'll channel my burger-eating energy into importing CDs, I'll spend my lunch break on emusic and itunes rather than El Guapos and The Brook, and I'll take it exercising of course. I honestly think I could run or walk for hours listening to this thing loaded with my whole music collection-- over 2,000 CDs-- all strapped to my flabby arm.

on the absence of one fat guy with a hollow promise . . .

We'll . . .I'm a
burrito craving,
belt breaking,
whole pizza eating,
heavy wine drinking,
Christmas Eve puker,
Christmas Party Pooper,
excuse making,
cake baking,
belly shaking,
earth quaking,
tubby complainer,
massive weight gainer,
lard bucket of lies,
thunder thighs,
turkey leg walker,
a real shit talker,
2-5-2- logger,
world's worst blogger,
Internets, I've said it and I'll say it again,
please stay with me, my friend.
Don't give up hope.
True-- I'm on the food crack dope,
but I'm not a food crack whore.
I won't knock on your door,
asking for a score,
asking for more
of your xmas leftovers,
your Stovetop Stovers,
but I might
yes I might
ask you to read my post again
as I'm on the mend.
So your clicks you must send,
O' my friend,
O' my friend,
O' my internets friend.

Wednesday Weigh-In: Thursday Edition

Alright, internets, I admit; I weighed yesterday, but I was just too ashamed to post anything. However, after receiving several guilt trips from friends and readers, I thought it best to post-- no matter what. I've made a habit of only posting on the days I've done good, but if this is to be a true chronicle of my experiences I should include the struggles and missteps.

So here goes: (By the way, I didn't even weigh last week. . .)

2 Weeks Ago: 338
This Week: 345
2 Week Weight Gain: +7 Pounds
Total Weight "loss": +2 Pounds

Now, listen-- I might not weigh 345 precisely as I was actually holding an Arby's sack full of a crispy chicken sandwich and medium curly fries when I hopped up on the scale. I believe I even had a hold of a large Dr. Pepper as well. (My buddy Mike P. was witness if you don't believe my shameful tale.)

Either way, dear readers, I blew it and I blew it hard. One eating-holiday and a centennial celebration later and this fat dude is off his game. Don't lose faith in me yet, however. I've taken several beatings from not only myself, but from good friends as well and I think my self-flagellating is almost complete.

Although it looks like the holidays are gonna be harder than I thought.

"Is Anthrax Bad?"

So is coffee bad? I hear that water is best, that caffeine will only mess with your metabolism in wrong ways and dehydrate you on top of all else. When I drink coffee, though, I'm pretty sure it kicks up my metabolism. Without getting too graphic, I'll just say that the proof is in the fact that coffee sends me to the "25216" quicker than anything. I also have more energy throughout the morning which I would assume means I am burning more calories as well. Is this backwards thinking or am I on to something?

Please enlighten. If my theory is true, a damn fine cup of coffee could become the new kick-start to my day.