Wii Journal

Day 1: The Wii is installed and the family is loving it. Wii Sports will definitely give me a work out. I break a big sweat playing boxing for a couple hours. I question my parenting skills when I find myself saying "Quit crying, kid, you'll get your turn, but for now-- daddy's got to fight!"

Day 2: I can't move my arms. Who would've thought a video game could cause so much physical pain. I search for games that only require the push of the "A" button, but eventually master the art of playing baseball and tennis by sitting down and flicking my wrist forcefully. Eventually, this too makes me wince.


Day 3: After a full days rest I return to boxing and again break a huge sweat. This is the most physical exercise I've gotten in some time, but I force myself to quit after cussing out the wii LeVar Burton for kicking my ass.


Day 4: Begins with pain . . .

Wednesday What-In?

That is my "Oh Shit" face. Yea, so today is Thursday and I forgot to weigh yesterday . . . and today. Of course, I'm a little scared to weigh, but it also comes down to a logistics, too. The elevators that take me up to the awesome antique scale that I've been weighing are blocked due to construction. So I've been entering and exiting the building other ways and no longer pass the big metal "yer fat" reminder. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So instead of a weigh-in, you get a pic of me looking shamefully at said scale:


I'm getting back on track though, but dude am I broke. Eating healthy is expensive, too. Seriously. No excuses here. Wild Oats or just good natural food at Target costs way more than eating fast food or buying shit out of a can or box at the Neighborhood Food Trough.

Did I mention we got my son Beckett a Wii for his birthday. This is the cause of said brokenness, but hopefully will be the source of much physical activity. Exercise from a video game? Who knew right? So stay posted on that. We are gonna give it to him on Saturday. I'm hoping it propels me into physical activity, as that is still the one thing I can't seem to kick start.

Advertising is for ideas.

So I got two new ideas about losing weight, both inspired by actual magazine adds. First there was this one:
I have no idea what the hell "suspensoin" means, but the phrase "Freeze, wait, reanimate" is bad-frickin'-ass. So I'll just freeze myself until a cure for fat is found. I wonder if I'll take longer to thaw.

Then, if that doesn't work there's always this:


Let's just focus on the title first-- "Overcoming Physical Death." Dude, if I was invincible I could be as fat as I wanted to be and I would never die. How sweet is that? Then, there is the body of the add. Wake up, internets, apparently the enemy isn't obesity. The enemy is REINCARNATION. Screw round after round of death and rebirth, and screw losing weight. I gotta get invincible, yogi!!

Not really sure why I'm posting this:


(Apart from it being slightly hot), I found it awesome being on the same page as the "Freeze, wait, reanimate" shit.

"I'm totally gonna freeze myself, bro, but first I'm gonna need $29.95 and 46 minutes."

I'm also changing the name of this blog to "Paddled and Possessed."

Boobs, Brawls, and Bouncy Brothers

My wife and I were talking about growing up and being kids. Kym said she was the first one in her group to get boobs. Oddly enough . . . . so was I.
My baddass friend, Robert, who is of similar size, (and who will soon join me in the 3 kid club), has thrown down the gauntlet and proposed a bit of friendly competition. I would love to bring out my competitive side. It's generally pathetic and recently non-existent, so this would do me some good. So, Robert, I'll be waiting on you to track your progression somewhere and I'll be sure to link to it and feature it so people can follow us both, choose sides, and cheer on their favorite Fat Dad.

Anyone else willing to join the race can as well, both figuratively and literally. Send me your weight-loss blogs and let's all meet up in Tulsa in October for the run.

Along these same lines-- my friend and trusty comic pimp, Shawn, at Mammoth Comics had an awesome idea a few months ago that I should start a group here in town. We could all go running and compete in sports together or against dudes way fatter than us (C'mon, we have to boost our confidence somehow.) I think this is a great idea as well.

I'm an only child and grew up doing lots of stuff alone, but I'm not sure if weight-loss is one of those things. I haven't had a good go at it so far. So look forward to more on these fronts and send me your challenges / blogs / ideas.

The Dude with the Man-Boob,
TJ

Weigh-In Wednesday: How 0 is an Awesome Number

So one week has gone by and I lost a big Judge Whopnerin' 0 Pounds. Yep, internets, that's a big fat nothing, nil, nadda, zip, zilch, doodley squat. Although 0 is the fattest of all the numbers . . . That's pretty sweet.

Speaking of-- lets talk fat-friendliness of the digits:

1 is too damn skinny

2 is a skinny dude that fell to his knees after being punched in the stomach.

3 does look like man boobs . . . that is also pretty cool.

4 & 7 have no curvy lines whatsoever so bullocks to them

5 does have a beer gut, but we cannot be obese from beer gut alone

6 & 9 bring up sexual connotations, of course, and since chubby dudes often suffer in this area they must be omitted.

8 . . . okay 8 might be cooler than 0 because 8 looks like a fat dude with an equally fat head and I can certainly relate to that.

This could be the lamest or most awesomeness post ever. You decide, internets. . . .

Covering the Fat Issue

*


So one of my favorite magazines is Utne Reader. (NOTE: the cover above is not from the current issue. I just thought ol' G-Wash drinking a beer was rad). If you're not familiar, first off, you should check it out. It collects lots of really great articles from several really great independently published magazines and puts them in one nearly add free issue every month. They also update their website daily with fresh content as well. It's a great one-shot stop for those who don't have time or money to read 15-20 magazines a month.

Anyhow, this month they featured several articles about American society's obsession with obesity and how it has distorted facts, instigated discrimination, and set up a size-class system in our country that only forces the overweight to "prisons of self loathing."

(Picture from the article)

I could recap the articles, but it is much more rewarding if you read them yourself. C'mon you know you have time at work or late at night when you are up for hours importing even more CDs into your itunes . . . .or is that just me.

So please check them out. Just click on the article titles below. I'm anxious to hear your opinions on what they have to say.

Shame on Us

Love Your Fat Self

The Food Police

I can sympathize with a lot these articles have to say. I've always had my weird share of "fat pride" and while these articles don't foster that approach, they do make me feel connected to my husky brothers and sisters through our connection to this group.

We're this group of people struggling with weight for hundreds of different reasons, each of us connected, but dealing with separate issues as well. We are united in a struggle, one that can only be understood by those who are or have been in our shoes. It is never as simple as "eat better" or "just exercise." And while we get support and encouragement from our non-fat friends we can't help but wonder if they look down on us. "Come on, it's not that hard. Just do it."

It's the battle of a lifetime, one that we fatties are going at mostly alone because society is too far off course.

Wow! Sorry I got all militant on you, internets. Now seriously check out this article about Huey Lewis and some of his biggest fans. It has been my favorite discovery from an Utne Reader. It is brilliant. "Brilliant," I say.

Weigh-In Wednesday: 1 Pound at a time

Current Week: 345lbs

Last Week: 346lbs
Total Loss: 1 Pound, suckers.

It's been several days since I posted, but don't let that and my lonely pound of weight-loss fool you-- I have been living a more active life.

Sunday I worked in my backyard cleaning up the last of the massive tree debris left by the big ice storm last month.

At work I even got out of the control room and played camera man on a shoot at the Phillips Petroleum Museum in Bartlesville.

Kym has cooked a nice fresh and healthy dinner every night. It's been so delicious, she has turned into quite the badass chef. I follow up dinner, not by laying on the couch and rubbing my tummy, but by cleaning up dishes, sweeping the floors, doing dishes, and any other housework I can find.

Areas I need to work on include eating big lunches at work on my lunch break and staying up too late. I've been staying up until 2 or 3am every night importing CDs into my iTunes, reading magazines and comics, and generally just "dicking around" (not the dirty kind, mind you, the more lame kind.)

Anyhow, I get up at 6:30 in the a.m. so this nocturnal way of mine is catching up with me and my health for sure. I'm cranky at work, my post-dinner chores are slowing down, and the energy just isn't there.

So tonight I've vowed to go to bed early. I'm also broke as a fat man's furniture so eating out tomorrow is out of the picture. Therefore, I see improvement in sight.

I read a series of really awesome articles in the latest Utne Reader about food culture and the stigma of fat people in our society. I plan on blogging about it in the near future, but tonight I must wrap this up and hit the hay.

Be well, internets.

Everybody's Got a Hungry Heart . . .

I assume that my constant state of hunger means I am eating less, but I still wonder if that's a good thing. Should I eat small healthy snacks when I am hungry or just tough it out until the next meal? I once had a doctor tell me "just don't eat," but he was kind of a loon.

I'm also moving around more. I try not to sit still at home unless I am reading to the kids or talking with Kym. Of course, I say this as I've been sitting at the computer for an hour importing CDs into iTunes. But really, especially after meals, I've been trying to move around more and it's helping. I know I need actual exercise, but with my schedule right now it's the best I can do.

There has been several temptations. I was introduced to a really good small Mexican restaurant that has quickly become a new favorite, but this is a good thing. Their portions are much smaller than others and you can order items a la carte so I can still eat small and eat delicious.

We also talked about The Brook on the show today and all I could think of was this . . . .

and this . . .

. . . .oh sweet, sweet cheese, I'm hungry.

Weigh-In Wednesday: 2008 Edition

I know it's been a while, but today is Wednesday which means that today is the day I face the cold hard truth of what 2 months off the wagon will do. That's right., internets, it's Weigh-In Wednesday.


So as I made my way out of the 320 S. Boston Building at quitin' time, I stopped at the big gold monster to face my failure and take it like a man-- 346lbs of man it seems.

346lbs I say!!

Mark my words, internets, this will be the last time you see a number this high. From here on out I own that old brass bastard of a scale.

New Year's Highlights

First off, I gotta share a pic of Kym's finger. It really doesn't do it justice, though. It looks much nastier in person and I'm sure it was more painful than it looks as well.

Besides one cup of coffee this morning and 2 glasses of wine with dinner, I only drank water today-- no pop whatsoever. This is big for me.

I love documentaries, but I have a deep hatred for reality television. This hate did not stop me from watching "The Biggest Loser" on NBC today. It has a "couples" theme. Kym and I watched it together and wished that we were the token couple from Oklahoma because the real couple from Oklahoma are lame and will probably be booted soon. Obviously, I got into the show. It's very relative to my situation right now, and besides I love watching fat people cry and get yelled at.

iPod importing 2007 has become iPod importing 2008 as I still only have about 1/5 of my music collection currently loaded in my pocket sized friend. I must buy new headphones as well. Bullocks to the ones that came with it. Many more accessories are needed as well for full home and car enjoyment.

Had to work briefly today. The people need there internet travel news. I stayed pretty damn active. Cleaned a lot. Helped Kym prepare and cook one sweet as dinner including baked chicken marinated in oranges and garlic. I also had parsnips for the first time which were damn good too. And the best part is that no digits were injured in the making of our meal.