Weigh-In Wednesday: How 0 is an Awesome Number

So one week has gone by and I lost a big Judge Whopnerin' 0 Pounds. Yep, internets, that's a big fat nothing, nil, nadda, zip, zilch, doodley squat. Although 0 is the fattest of all the numbers . . . That's pretty sweet.

Speaking of-- lets talk fat-friendliness of the digits:

1 is too damn skinny

2 is a skinny dude that fell to his knees after being punched in the stomach.

3 does look like man boobs . . . that is also pretty cool.

4 & 7 have no curvy lines whatsoever so bullocks to them

5 does have a beer gut, but we cannot be obese from beer gut alone

6 & 9 bring up sexual connotations, of course, and since chubby dudes often suffer in this area they must be omitted.

8 . . . okay 8 might be cooler than 0 because 8 looks like a fat dude with an equally fat head and I can certainly relate to that.

This could be the lamest or most awesomeness post ever. You decide, internets. . . .